Monday, March 12, 2007

Watch Out Ladies

Something I discovered this weekend - there are people who feel threatened by women with opinions.

My column on Sequart that expressed my opinions on a store closing got some folks riled up, which is fine. They have a right to their opinions as much as I do. But, it amazed me that once the intelligent comments stopped the remaining comments were not that I was wrong or mean, but that I was a bitch, that I was angry because I am a woman trying to keep up in an industry dominated by men, that my husband should brush up on his Shakespeare and read "Taming of the Shrew" and even (I'm not kidding) something about me having lobsters living in my vagina - but the 10 year old couldn't spell vagina so it was more like "v** i**a." (Is this something new, or did the 10 year old mean crabs? Either way, he's never been near my vagina or probably any other vagina aside from the one that gave birth to him.)

Somehow my critique of a store already gone, but never named, was far more insulting than trying to insult the fact that I'm a woman. At first I was insulted, but then I remembered some advice I gave to a fellow blogger when she found herself being insulted by these types - when you express strong opinions people will disagree. The better you express them the more people will have their feathers ruffled. It just means your doing something right. And when the best insult people come up with is that you are a woman suffering from penis envy with lobster crotch, that's proof that some people can't handle intelligent women.

Oh, and something that's true for both men and women, most of the time when someone fails at something, it is their own fault. Sure, it's easy to blame others and play the victim. In fact it almost seems like a human reflex to do so. But, truthfully it is usually ones own fault when one fails. The smart person tries to learn from that in order to attain success in the future. The fool blames everyone else, calls him or herself a victim, and is doomed to fail again.

5 comments:

Scott King said...

People are dicks. Specially a percentage of comic book readers who are ignorant and have nothing to do but to get online and bitch.

I read that column when it was first posted and it was well written and the points were clear. Try not to let this stuff get to you.

Hahahah, someone said you had lobsters living in your yaya? That's freaking GREAT! Hahahah people are soooooooo stupid.

James Meeley said...

Lisa:

Yeah, I have to back-up scott's words above. People do suck, especially when they get online.

In my time online, as well as the time I spent blogging, I've learned that there are a lot of folks who can't stand a "strong opinion" of ANYONE, no matter what gender they are. They simply have to either be always "right" or have something (or someone0 to rail against, even if what they say makes no sense at all.

Best not to give those kinds much thought. They certainly aren't worth it. You just keep on telling it like you see it. There are plenty of us here who respect you for that. :)

Loren said...

First of all, great column with lots of great observation. I'm so sorry you got all those comments. I've gotten similar comments myself, only more racially or sexual orientation based. What's funny is that I see the same types of critical analysis from Brian Hibbs and I'm sure nobody targeted him for his gender. I've enjoyed reading about your experiences as a comic book store owner. Keep doing what you do because, for every one of those jerks, you have a whole slew of people who enjoy hearing what you have to say!

Scott said...

I was thinking. We should do an experiment. You and I should each post similar comments on different boards/sites. Then witness the reactions. It would be interesting to see how people treat you (a girl) compared to me (a boy). ...i could then write a paper on it and use it for class. lol.

Lisa said...

Thanks for the support guys! You're right - people are mean on-line. I even asked the instigator of the whole thing to call or email me personally, and provided the info needed for him to do so, but of course he didn't. Easy to rip on someone on boards where your friends are, not so easy to face them in person.

Loren - you often have some very thought provoking blog posts. I'm sure you face all kinds of unnecessary comments from the lowest common denominator. Thanks for ignoring all of that and continuing on in the blog-o-sphere.

Scott- that would be an interesting study!