Full Moon Coming

So either it's the end of the world or the impending full moon that are signaled by the crazy local headlines on the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel news feed today.

• 2 get jail for taking money from school fund

Two women seal over $5000 from their children's elementary school PTA. Way to go, mommie!

• Man who fired shots into Slinger homes to be released

Back in 1997 he sent about 4o bullets into his neighbor's homes. They found him crazy in 1998 because he'd constantly tell neighbors to watch out because they were being monitored by the FBI. Now he's been set free. I'm sure he's better, right. Either way I don't want to live next door to this guy. When police searched his home after the shooting they found 10 weapons and over 10,000 rounds of ammo.

• State sends investigator to view feet-nibbling fish

New business in local Mayfair Mall gives patrons fish pedicures. For $35, a hundred tiny garra rufa fish, known as doctor fish, will eat the dead flesh from a customer's feet for 15 minutes. Now the state department of Regulation and Licensing isn't sure that this is an acceptable spa treatment and may close the business down. Guess I'll have to cross that off my to-do list, which is a shame 'cause my calloused feet could sure use it.

• Inmate charged with assisted suicide

An inmate in Dodge County Correctional convinced, and assisted, his cellmate in committing suicide. I guess he really wanted some privacy.

• Man claims Satan ordered him to kill girlfriend, police say

Because he missed the lesson on NOT doing what the devil tells you to do. Oh, and Satan told him to blow up her apartment building too.

• Man, 64, charged with casting dead wife's vote

A 64-year-old widower was charged Wednesday with casting an absentee ballot for his dead wife, which he said was fulfilling her dying wish to vote in the presidential election. His wife was very politically active, a poll worker even, so really the poll workers should have noticed something fishy, maybe stopped or discouraged the guy, but didn't. And while he says it was her dying wish, he also admits in the column that she would not have wanted him to do what he did.